Tastes Great, Less Bloodshed!

A brawl broke out at a soccer match between Serbia and Albania after a drone flew over the match with an Albanian flag and was pulled down by a Serbian player.

This is the biggest brawl created by a flying object since the bloodshed of Superbowl XXII, when the Goodyear blimp’s suggestion to drink Bud Light spurred the Miller Lite Uprising.

"For the cure" <now I get sued>

It was reveled that Susan G. Komen has entered into a partnership with Baker Hughs to make pink heads for their fracking drills. A spokeswoman said “evidence to this point does not establish a connection between fracking and breast cancer.”

She went on to state that “In fact, the only connection we are sure about with breast cancer is that running 3.1 miles can cure it.”