Push or jump, buses still hurt if you are in front of them.

While introducing Sylvia Mathews Burwell as the next Department of Health and Human Services secretary. President Obama said of outgoing secretary Kathleen Sebelius, who oversaw the “Obamacare” rollout ,”I will miss her advice. I will miss her friendship. I will miss her wit.”

He continued, “But, I will mostly miss her ability to fit under a moving bus.”

The church is now suing Borat for copy write infringement.

A scrap of papyrus the size of a business card dating back to 6th century CE quoting Jesus as saying “Jesus said to them, my wife” has been declared ‘not a fake’.

The flip side of the papyrus offered an owner loyalty club for a free falafel sandwich with one punch still remaining; explaining why it still exists.